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Friday, August 2, 2013

Top Ten Ways to Know Your Art School Isn't Among the Top Ten Art Schools.

With kudos to the David Letterman team, it's been years since I've made up a "top ten" list pertaining to art. I used to do it all the time.  My book, Art Think, had several. I have to be in the right kind of mischievous mood to make up this, I'm in the mood.

10.  The freshman "Fundamentals of Art" classroom is decorated in blue--Smurfs.

copyright, Jim Lane
9.   The figure drawing class involves photographing the model.

8.  The "Advanced Studio Studies" class final exam essay has to do with Thomas Kinkade.

7.  All the books in the school's art library have the pages featuring nude women ripped out.

Michelangelo would
be flattered.
6. Your painting instructor wears an apron featuring the torso of Michelangelo's David.


Minimal Art
5. The school's art gallery is hosting a show, "Kasimir Malevich: White on White, a Step Beyond." The walls are empty.

Urinations art
4. The best artwork is to be found in the men's room.

3. More than one member of the faculty have padlocks on their office doors.

2. The course catalog features a class called: "Fundamental Values in Finger Painting."

And the number ONE way to know your art school isn't among the top ten art schools:

1. The sign outside reads, "Collage of Fine Art."

Just kidding.

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