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Thursday, December 31, 2015

New Year's Resolutions, 2016

Remember Calvin and Hobbs?
The idea of making New Years' resolutions may be the oldest running joke in the history of mankind. The only thing I can think of more hilarious is the serious likelihood of actually keeping them. With that in mind, why not start out with the hilarious part and move from there to the serious possibility of actually keeping one? Having prefaced my New Year's resolutions in such a manner, here's what I propose to do in the way of self-improvement over the course of 2016:

Calendar art! Okay, maybe it's not art, but it's the best I could come up with on short notice.
1. Paint every day. Not all day, every day. That would be asking too much. I'm thinking more along the line of one minute per day in January, two minutes per day in February, and so forth. That would mean painting 31 minutes the first month (hey, I can do that), 58 minutes total in February (2016 is leap year, you know), 93 minutes in March, 120 minutes (a total of two full hours) in April... Okay, wait till I get done with the math... Hmm, WOW, 2,379 minutes! But then we must divide that by 60 minutes in an hour and... HOLY SMOKES! That adds up to a full 39 hours and 40 minutes for the year...almost a forty-hour week! The batteries must be giving out in my calculator...let's try that again...

2. Visit at least one major art museum this year. I'm thinking of one in particular, in Amster-dam... No, not the van Gogh Museum. I've been there, done that. You know...the other one...

In the middle of Amsterdam's central Red Light District, the Erotic Museum has an amazing collection of erotic artifacts from around the world. Their collection boasts
erotic fine art, ivory carving, paintings, drawings, prints, and sculpture including
sketches by John Lennon, and an original Picasso.
There! How's that?

3. Give all my paint brushes a good cleaning. Look! see, I can keep New Years' resolutions! Now, if I can just manage to keep them that clean. Maybe if I skip the first resolution...

4. Find a reputable art gallery to represent me. This one said they kind of liked my work.
5. Quit falling asleep while writing my blog.

6. Stop eating at my computer.

Some guy I met outside the Louvre.

7. Sell more paintings.

8. Don't write such long posts.
'Nuff said.

                 Happy New Year!

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