|Yes, Dr. Isaac K. Funk once lived in this house on Staten Island.|
|This may or may not have|
his mayonnaise jar.
Bon jour Monsieur Lane:
I have read with great interest your kind words regarding my painting skills, though I think you have somewhat overestimated my influence over my art colleagues and young artists yet to come. At least I hope that's the case.
I must, however, take issue with your constantly blaming Paul and I for what you have the audacity to term "modern" art. If what I've seen of "modern" art is the shape of things to come, then Pardonnez-moi, but I shall forever reject such reckless nothingness in favor of "old-fashioned" art.
My friends and I down at the Café Guerbois often discuss the direction in which our art, painting in particular, is taking us. Not even the most radical among us, Monsieur Monet or Monsieur Renoir, or that rascal, Edgar Degas, could ever embrace such a horrendous degradation as you routinely present and praise in your misbegotten column.
I'm guessing, due to his mention of the Café Guerbois, that his comments appear to have been written sometime in the late 1860s or early 1870s.
Furthermore, I am insulted that you would associate me with the likes of this imbecilic Senor Pic-ass-o or his friend Monsieur Braque. Even thatYes, I am, indeed, fortunate in that regard (in more ways than one). However, maybe I should get a concealed carry permit, just in case.
trou du cul(pain in the posterior) Louis Duranty, whom I almost shot and killed the other night, has been kinder to me than your despicable implication that I have been somehow responsible for what you term "Cubism." You can consider yourself fortunate you live in the 20th century not my own or a similar fate might befall YOU!
Although I'm starting to come to terms with regard to this new "Impressionist"
merdecrap. and even starting to respect Paul Cezanne's crude daubs, about the only example of your so-called "modern" art I've seen which I find at all acceptable comes from a talented amateur named Vincent (sorry, I can't recall the last name). He shows some promise, though I'm told he's something of a ne'er-do-well personally. Several of the mademoiselles I know and advise are far, more talented and technically adept. Berthe Morisot and my student, Eva Gonzales, as well as Mary Cassatt will, I'm sure, far outshine this Vincent character in the future.
Despite my abhorrence of your "modern" art and your totally misplaced opinion regarding any intrinsic value it might have, I do find your own painting efforts to be quite promising. You should go far, young man, if you can just manage to keep your ignorant critical musing to yourself. I know little regarding your educational background, but even though you seem to be able to string words together with some degree of literary aptitude, I find your aesthetic judgments to be the height of stupidity.
|The Artist's Wife, 1866|